svenska Imagoinstitutet

ett alternativ till traditionell familjerådgivning och parterapi

 

The Institute

The Institute was founded in the mid 1990's by Eva Berlander, couples therapist, licensed mental health professional (positive psychology), certified Imago Relationship therapist,  workshop presenter and author. Eva is trained in Interpersonal neurobiology (IPNB).





Eva has more than twenty years’ experience and works both with individuals, couples and groups. Her specialty is to inspire and teach people how to cross the bridge to loving relationships. She is a highly regarded and knowledgeable therapist with an all – encompassing presence. Her enthusiasm, demenaour and solid knowledge create security, hope, laughter, awareness and integration in participants. She has a passionate interest in research of human relationships and constantly updates her knowledge. It is evident that her continuous work with her own close relationships is reflected in her work as a tutor, lecturer, author and therapist. She walks her talk!


The institute train, educate and supervise therapists and coaches.

Together with Dr. Pat Love she train, educate and inspires therapsits and coaches to go from Good to Great in their own practices - Evidence-Based Approach. For more information


Clinical training in IMAGO Relationship therapy is held by the Imago institute in Norway or Jette Simon in Denmark. For more information contact the institute.


We also work with companies and management teams, where good communication and the ability to set goals is key to success and mental health.

In January 2005, Elsa Gottfridsson joined the Swedish Imago Relationship Institute. Elsa who is a teather ( for children), therapist and Imago Coach is responsible for bookings, administrative and even our parents education. Elsa also accept clients. 

For more informataion

The Institute has collaboration and exchange with many, both in Imago Relationship therapy but also in other areas – all over the world.






PRIVATE INTENSIVE SESSIONS


When you have done the workshop “ Living instead of surviving - in our relationships.” Level 1, and you still need help, you can come and do some intensive works together with Eva Berlander or one of her therapists.

Working in intensive sessions is very much valued and appreciated. Most often the couple and therapist meet one to two whole days, 2 - 6 times with 3 – 8 weeks between occasions. Having these longer, intense sessions makes the work more focused, positive and conscious. This way of working creates a stronger sense of security, safety and balance between you and your partner and the therapist. Many couples transform their energy from power struggle, everyday drab and resignation to curiosity, intimacy and awareness.


Those couples that come and choose to work with a therapist will do so for a MINIMUM three-hour session. However, we recommend working intensively over one or two consecutive whole day(s) each time you come. One intensive day is enough for some couples, others come on four different occasions over one year. We tailor your journey to your individual needs. This is a form which gives good results and one in which we have a lot of experience.






Feedback from couples that have done intensive sessions:


•"Life-changing. We found the way back to each other despite my wife’s infidelity”.

•“The best thing we’ve done! I saw my partner in a whole new light. Now I understand why we had gotten stuck in the same arguments, again and again”.

•"Totally unlike family counseling or any other couples therapy. Suddenly, there’s hope!”

•“Unbelievably exciting to see that our backgrounds can play such a big roll in our everyday lives”.

•“It’s much easier to accept my partner’s wish to separate. I now have closure. I understand why it has ended up as it has”.

• “After our session with an Imago therapist our relationship has developed in such a way that we recommend our friends to take advantage of Eva Berlander’s know-how”.

• “What a wonderful feeling to really listen AND be heard!”

•“This was a wonderful experience – My wife and I will now be able to have our divorce without fight! Thank you, We ourselves or our children did not think that would be possible!”







COUPLES  & INDIVIDUAL THERAPY 

We recommend that you read Eva Berlanders book: You Can Make it Happen; How Breakthroughs in Neuroscience Can Transform Relationships.


 

Having a difficult relationship can be extremely painful. When we at the Swedish Relationship institute, inspires you to celebrate your conflicts, we want to motivate you to see your conflicts from a new perspective, so that you can find a way to rewire your brains, establish deep contact and experience real love. In that way you can make use of conflicts to build better relationships. This is important, weather you are staying together as a couple or having a divorce.


Often we think that good communication is mostly about words, and it is not. It is about creating contact. We as two different people need to be differentiated and still linked together.  Here we can tolerate anything and even get inspired of each other. We can dare to meet,  listen, respect, tolerate, and heal our own and each others raw emotions.  


This couples therapy is not an ordinary fix-it kind of session. It doesn´t teach you to “find yourself” or “save your marriage” or “do this and everything will be fine.”

It is more about a new way of communication that leads to better mental health and more loving relationships. 


In our work as therapists, we meet couples every day that are in actual combat with each other, who find themselves in a disillusioning routine, or who have simply lost contact with each other. Many feel unheard, unseen and “dead” inside. In despair they ask themselves: is it possible o have a loving relationship once the fire and the closeness is gone? Can you rediscover love when everything has deteriorated into arguing and emptiness? Is it possible to be heard and understood? Is it necessary to break up families and change partners, or can you learn to love the same person once again? Simply, can you create and keep long, loving relationships?


Our answer is YES, you can.


For some couples, it´s easy to find the way back. Of course, we feel great satisfaction when people get in touch with us a year after a workshop or private sessions and tell us that their life together is better than ever – and it stays that way! Others have more difficult time finding the way back to a loving relationship, and they have to work harder. There are some who decide to divorce all the same- but in a better way, a way that reduces the risk for continued conflict after the fact.  All of them have acquired important new insights and skills.

Much of the time, however, we have seen that it is possible to change a wretched situation and find a way back to a loving connection.

While these sessions are meant primarily for couples in crisis, We are convinced that we all have to find new, more effective ways to communicate with each other, with our children, our friends, and colleagues – in all our relationships! So in this way, these sessions are for everyone who wants a more loving, compassionate relationship with someone in their lives.

You can accomplish this by making new tracks in the brain and altering old fruitless patterns and behavior.


We work with a dialogue process or way of communication that we call “crossing the bridge.” Using this process, we can safely and consciously get into each other´s brains and minds for a visit, to take an empathetic walk in each other´s shoes. From a neurobiological viewpoint, safe and empathic communication can lead to new integration in the brain – and also between the brains of two individuals. This is a perfect way to calm the nervous system and create a feeling of safe attachment.

But do note: these sessions are not supposed to make all couples stick together no matter what. While continuing together is often the result of using this concept, it is not the goal. The goal is to inspire you to become more mature and aware in your relationships with intimate others, and enjoy them. We want to point to the alternatives. We hope that you will feel encouraged to slowly, steadily develop a competence that will lead to a life of loving relationships. The goal is for you to become your own expert.



The dialogue process “crossing the bridge” is a fantastic opportunity to create contact, harmony and integration. But it is vital to understand that isn´t all about talking, discussing, arguing, interpreting, negotiating, bargaining or otherwise verbalizing problems. We can do that until our tongues fall out, but it won´t change anything in our brains or hearts. Instead, it is a question of listening and “be attuned to” another person, taking in that person´s signals and integrating the message in ourselves. By doing this, we create a safe connection. We are truly preset as we visit the interior of another individual, as well as our own.


Seeing a therapist at the Swedish Relationship institute is not about solving problems or bargaining about time, responsibilities, housecleaning, money, sex, and so on. We don´t think that the answer can be found outside. Instead we want to focus on the ability to look inward and make an exciting expedition into our personal history.

Contingent communication does change the brain. But to be able to change the brain on purpose, you have to understand how it works. So that is why we recommend and encourage couples as well as individuals to take part of our workshop “ Living instead of surviving - in our relationships.” Level 1. At the workshop we have the attempt to clearly describe the fascinating discoveries in recent brain research, as well as new discoveries about how human attachment, development and “emotional resonance” work. If you want, before the workshop, you can come for an introduction. This takes between 2 – 3 hours. Sometimes it feels good to meat one of our therapists so you can ask your questions and get some clear and safe answers.

It is not at all easy to listen to someone whom you think of as an enemy. But having witnessed hundreds of couples make the journey from struggle to closeness (as well as trudging around in the marshes of argument with my husband Sven) I have started to understand how the process works. Because of that I´m convinced about the importance of books, workshops and lectures that can inspire the art of listening. The “crossing the bridge” dialogue is not the only approach to better communication. But in my experience, it is a uniquely powerful way to listen, connect, meet, change, heal oneself, and heal together.


Our hope for Eva Berlander´s book:You Can Make it Happen, our workshops, and lectures is to inspire as many people as possible to develop, and experience, the joy of a loving relationship. That´s the best gift we can give our selves and our close ones –not least our children.





FARWELL PROCESS


Those couples that choose to end their relationships attend a couple’s weekend workshop and then a few intensive sessions to say, through dialogue, what needs to be said and then as closure complete the “farewell process”. The dialogues and the farewell process are naturally painful but much appreciated- by both the person leaving and the person being left. The farewell process opens up new possibilities in life for both people.

       


FEES

Eva Berlander: Private: 1250 kr including moms (V.A.T.)/ hour. (140 Euro)

Company: 2000 kr excluding moms (V.A.T.)/hour.


Fee for other therapists: Private 800 kr including moms (V.A.T.)/ hour. 

Company: 800 kr exclusive moms (V.A.T.)/hour


Parts of the fee can be invoiced separately.







INDIVIDUAL THERAPY


First we recommend individuals to participate in the course “From ME to WE”, Individual Development in a Group OR “Living instead of surviving - in our relationships” Level 1, before booking individual sessions with one of our therapists. You can attend one of the workshops with a close friend or colleague.


We take a look at questions like:


•Why is it so difficult to find the “right” partner?

•Why is it difficult to commit to each other?

•Why are we so afraid of intimacy?

•Why do we repeat the same mistakes with different partners?

•Why won’t your partner go in therapy and what is your responsibility in this?

•How can we calm down our nervous systems, rewire and create “new connections?

•How can I teach myself to listen AND to be heard?

•What is mental health and happiness – and how can we get there?



Feedback from people who have done intensive sessions:


•“Before I felt powerless. Now I see how I can create the life that I want”.

•“Exciting!”

•“Everyone should have the chance to do therapy work in this way! Positive and exciting”.

•“I learned that my problem with close relationships shows up in my work life too”.

•“This kind of therapy is concrete, warm, and very valuable”.

•“This work on myself makes me a better businessperson and leader”.

•“Everyone should take this chance!”

•“A way to learn to LIVE, instead of just survive!”


FEES


Eva Berlander: Private: 1000 kr including moms (V.A.T)/hour.

Company: 2000 kr excluding moms (V.A.T)/hour.


Other therapists: Private 700 including moms (V.A.T.)/hour.

Company: 1000 kr excluding moms (V.A.T.)/hour.


Parts of the fee can be invoiced separately.


 
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